I have recently come under a string of bad luck. I'm not talking the I-lost-my-keys-and-couldn't-find-my-car kind of bad luck. I'm talking the my-car-got-towed-twice-in-a-two and a half-week-period-and-it-took-all-my-money-both-times kind of bad luck. You may now call me Bad Luck Betty. No, no, not Blow Job Betty, since I seem to have developed the plague and can't get laid by even my most dependable fuck buddy's, but Bad Luck Betty. As in this-year-so-far-sux-and-I-have-the-worst Bad Luck
Betty.
Let's start with a week and a half ago. I'm not even going to start with the beginning of the year since it would take me 3 hours to finish writing this blahg. But I digress. The first time my car got towed was a week and a half ago. Or maybe it was two and a half weeks ago. Its getting hard for me to tell, bad luck does that to you. Let's just say a title loan (the car is not in my name) was taken out on my car to pay some bills and what not and the payment was late, so Buckeye Title loans saw it fit to take my car away, without warning. The genius was home sick after having vomited all over everything the night before, so I planned to go to the store for some chicken soup and a sprite. My car was gone. I stood in my now empty parking spot in disbelief for about 3 minutes as I spun as if each time I completed my tiny circle my car would magically appear. $1,000 and four days later, I got my car back.
Fast forward to this last Tuesday. As I lay in bed trying to get up the motivation to start getting ready for work mi madre asked if she could borrow my car for a few minutes. She left about 8:30 a.m. At 9:00 a.m. her Halloween Michael Myers theme song ring tone went off and I answered the phone. "I got pulled over", she responded to my hello in Spanish. I half laughed and wished her luck since my tags were expired. 9:15 a.m. the eerie music went off again, but before I could say "Hello" she quickly informed me that my car was being towed. All I could do was laugh. What are the chances? Apparently her license was suspended, only to later find out it was all because after she paid the ticket from almost a year ago she had not taken the driving class because the letter informing her of the class was sent to some address in Chandler. We have never lived in Chandler. Ever. $363, two and a half hours in a hot car, 3 days and $2.50 borrowed from a complete stranger since they raised the price from $60 at eight in the morning to $73 that same afternoon later, I have my car back. But not before someone left my headlights on the entire time it was impounded so my battery was dead and before my phone died I had to call my assistant manager who had just left me to go home after we closed the store to come and jump my battery after she had lent me $10 for gas since I'd used the last of my gas money for the nazi raise in price to get my car back. Her and her husband are currently my heroes.
The day after my car was taken for the second time (who does that happen to? ever?) I went to Jupes to enjoy a few cold ones with Clint and the other regulars. I got home a few hours and about 4 pitchers later I stumbled into my room and noticed the a/c was turned off so I made my way to the window to let the beautiful weathers' fresh air in. My window was stuck. I tugged and tugged to no avail. Finally I won my battle with the glass and it opened, but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up yours Mal' and in my drunkenness my hand involuntarily slammed the window towards the shut position and right onto my right hand middle finger. Ouchie! I screamed out silently as the tears sprung forth, making my way to my bed. Let me just say it was a good thing I was drunk because I immediately passed out and forgot all about my finger until I woke up the next morning and felt a throbbing. Better yet, I didn't even look at my finger until later that afternoon, only to notice a swollen, distorted and crooked digit. As well as a tiny blood blister on the other side. Figures.
Now I sit here trying to type while not using my middle finger. Turns out, I use that finger quite a bit.
That's my story. Mind you, this is just the clusterfuck that has been the last two and a half weeks. The earlier part of the year was not that great either, with the exception of witnessing some of my friends' happier moments and the release of my dad's book, of course. The sad thing is that the year isn't even close to being over. The good thing is, after the first repossession of my car, all I can do is laugh when something bad happens. I have a feeling I'll be laughing a lot.
So as I sit here waiting for my percocet to kick in to take away the pain in my finger and my overly stressed out back, I can't help but wonder...When both shoes have proverbially dropped, what will go next?
