Those good times, they come and they go

I spent this weekend up in Prescott...where the weather didn't go above 72, the toilets easily clogged when flushing a tampon and where I could spend a good night praying to porcelain gods. It pretty much ruled. I didn't want the weekend to come to an end. It was so nice and relaxing, no worries, no drama, no...nothing. Just good times with good friends. Well, the weasels good friends, whom I got to meet for the first time. I was nervous about it, but I think it went well. I think I've been deemed worthy to continue my relationship with the weasel...which is a good thing, cause I don't plan on going anywhere, so they're stuck with me. But, one of them started calling me hooker, and that can only mean that he liked me and felt comfortable enough with me to call me hooker...repeatedly. That's Smelly Pirate Hooker to you, Woodman! So now I'm back to this hell hole otherwise known as work. One more month til I'm free. Born free isn't the right song, but it's the first that comes to mind.

And she dances on the sand

First off this morning, let me just say how proud of a mother it makes me when, as One Love by Bob Marley comes on, the princess proclaims that "I LOVE this song!" and starts singing along...the actual words too, not just the usual jumble of vowels and consonants she blurbs out to make it seem as though she knows the song. Oh, and before that when they both sang along to the Ramones' Blitzgrieg Bop...which they learned from Jimmy Neutron the movie and Daddy DayCare, but, nonetheless, they like it, and any other Ramones' songs I play. What a proud day for a mother.

I took the kids over to my sisters' today, where they will celebrate the first day of summer vacation. Bastards, having fun while I have to be at work. *grumble* *grumble* The second my sister saw the princes, she said "Poor Naia!"...let me explain. The kids ended up having to stay at their dad's last night...he doesn't own a brush, why would he, he has no hair...so I couldn't brush the princess' hair this morning. She opted to wear her leopard print dress today...and I just wasn't in the mood to argue with her to change...not to mention the fact that looking for clothes at his place is like going on a scavenger hunt in search of a needle in a haystack. So I just didn't want to even bother. So she pretty much looked like a little cave girl.

Before I left my sisters', she broke some bad news to me. This made me sad. And I was speechless for about ten seconds after she told me, and I had to have her "rewind" so that I could make sure that I heard right. Jared Letois GAY. Supposedly. Not that I have a problem with gay dudes, but Jared Leto?! I have been celebrity in love with him since the beginning of My So Called Life! How can this be?! The pretty ones always are, it seems. Skeletons isn't the correct term, but it's the first that comes to mind.

Sharpies are the new eyebrows

"How does this bra make my boobs look?"
"Like boobs. Gawd, your boobs are ginormous! What size are they?"
"Double d."
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?!"
*blushing* "Uh, double d..."
"I fucking knew it!"
"Shut up!"
"Wow, I'm really proud of you!"
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"You've taken really big strides this year. You've admitted that you're shorter AND you've admitted that your boobs are actually bigger!"

Oh, the conversations you can have with your wife. All I have to say about that is that at least one of my boobs isn't bigger than the other one! bahahahaha Ok, and now that I've said that, I'm going to get grounded. But whatever. Today I had a popsicle. And you know what? It was amazing! I haven't had a popsicle for what seems...you know what? I'm done cause I'm just rambling. Ineed to go home and gets to packing! Damn, I swore I wasn't going to move again...oh well. Pain in the ass isn't the right phrase, but it's the first that comes to mind.

Rantings of a mad Mexican woman

I am cursed. And by cursed I mean that God, if there is one, hates any and all women and just likes to watch them suffer for 3-5 days a month. Why is this? I mean, all Eve did was try and give her man a yummy treat. And what, we get punished for all eternity? I don't find that very fair. Excrucuatingly painful cramps, junk food cravings, sore boobs...yup, all of this, as much as it seems, is NOT fun. And not surprisingly, it's also a time of the month when most women are horniest...but men don't like "that time of the month". Big babies. Why is it that we suffer through all the pains in life. Periods, child birth, boob sagging, eye drooping. I'm telling you, He hates us. Oh, and let's not forget the overly emotional state...crying over commercials and the like. ::sigh:: Calgon take me away.

I am Jack's dying pancreas

So it is confirmed that my uncle has pancreatic cancer. They're realeasing him from the hospital today, but the hospice is taking over. When hospice is taking over, it pretty much means there's not much time left for that person to live. And that's what we were afraid of. My mom is beside herself. I don't even know what to think. I've been feeling real anxious lately...this could be why. It's just been growing. And when I feel like this, it's usually bad. Well, as Tris would say, "That's the circle of life Aunt Mal". Why is it that children seem to understand death more than us? Or maybe not necessarily understand it, but are more accepting of it. I've been through way too many deaths in my life and not looking towards another one. Niagra tears isn't the right phrase, but it's the first that comes to mind.

By the grace of Mal

As most of you know, I have the grace of a cat. The grace of a cat on acid. Which was seen this morning by the weasel. Having already embarrassed myself by snorting mid make out. Needless to say, I turned bright red. Do you even know how hard it is to turn a brown woman red? It's very hard and happenson rare occasion. So this morning, as I grabbed my phone to call the sister to convince her into picking up the genius for school, I went to plop down onto the foot of the bed...my ass hit just the edge and I slid off it and onto the floor. At least my room is somewhat messy so that I had clothes and a blanket on the floor to break my fall. And it gave the weasel a pretty good laugh. I'm glad my lack of grace is entertaining to some people. Well, I guess I can say it's entertaining to me too...but still a little embarassing...at least in front of the new boyfriend. You know, cause we're supposed to be not human...no farting, no pooping, no snorting mid-kiss. Oh well, What can you do. Nothing, but laugh at myself everytime I fall off the bed...cause with my good grace and balance, it's bound to happen more times than little boys have been to Michael Jackson's place.
And speaking of the new boyfriend, I have to meet the friends tonight. Let the interrogation begin. I'm nervous though that they won't like me. Yes, I know, how could anyone NOT like me, you might be asking yourself. But believe it or not, there are SOME people out there that aren't too fond of me, hard as it is to believe (i hope you all see the sarcasm dripping from this blahg, by the way). Not normally one to care about people's opinions of me, this is different. This is the first boy who's friends I didn't already know. It should be fine. You know me, I'm not generally happy unless I'm worrying about something. I just like to pretend i'm laid back and easy...going.
I have something stuck in my tooth and it is REALLY starting to bother me.
Speaking of bothering me...here I go again...the people that call here are pretty much retarded. I don't understand how people think and I really wish I did. Because then I would know why someone would call me and ask me if I see the person he needs to talk to...uh, well, being that I'm not superman and DON'T have x-ray vision, no, I do not see her. Or maybe he thinks our office is about the size of a phone booth and if I turn my head I'll be able to see everyone in the office. I wonder. Sometimes I wish I was psychic. See also: Madame Zorba...See also: Jean Grey.

The ramblings of a sociopathic wannabe

Today has not been my day. And right now I feel extremely anxious. I don't know why. I had to call my mom and sister to make sure that my uncle was all right. And he is, better than he was...so we figured that it must just be stress. So I thought, what could I possibly be stressed about? I'm actually happy for once...then i remembered...today was pay day and pretty much all my money is gone already. Stupid adult responsibilities. *stomps feet* Sometimes I find myself wondering why I ever grew up. I guess I didn't REALLY have a choice in the matter. When I was younger, my favorite song used to be the Toys R' Us song...I don't wanna grow up/I'm a toys r' us kid...and I used to tell my dad that I was never going to grow up. I wanted to stay a kid forever. I'm one of those kids that actually had a childhood...unlike most of my friends who were having sex at the age of twelve and drinking. I'd just as soon sit at home with a good book and a smoke. That was probably the most adult thing I did...smoke. And most of the time it was not cigarettes. But for the most part, I acted my age. So much so that my mom once took me to see a shrink because she thought I was depressed...since I wasn't out running around with the neighborhood kids...I just sat at home and read all day. The funny thing is, that I actually LIKE reading and that's what I ACTUALLY wanted to do. My friends were too busy dating 18 year olds (we were 12) and doing it in their cars while I sat around smoking. I didn't really consider that fun. As much as I like to watch people do it in cars. Now it seems I have the problem of acting WAY younger than I actually am. But the good thing about that is that people have started thinking I'm about 19 or 20...heh heh...my evil plan is working.
Ok, I'm not really sure I'm making all that much sense. My wisdom teeth are starting to grow in some more, so my mouth is in some pain. And I don't like it. Not to mention the string of "bad luck" I've had today. It's all just been little stuff, but it is the little stuff that counts, right. First my new giant hoop earings broke...it's a good thing I had bought more than one pair. Next, my shoe broke. The first time wearing them since I bought them, I'd had them on for about 2 hours...it's a good thing that I always have shoes in my car. Then at lunch I had two cop scares. For those of you who don't know, my tags are expired...as meemo says, it's people like me who are preventing the fixing of cracks in the streets...and I need to get my car registered again, but I have to do emissions, but i can't yet since the engine light is on (anyone know how to turn it off) and emissions won't pass your car if the engine light is on...sometimes you can go through and hope the person is nice enough to pass you anyway, but it's usually pure luck, so I don't think I should try. So ya, I got all stressed about the two different cops behind me. Whew, ok, I think I feel a little better now. A person just always needs complete strangers' ears to vent to, you know. Like the entire internet. I think I'll stop right here. I'm sitting at work all alone and I could go on for days about complete nonsense. madhatter isn't the right character, but he's the first that comes to mind.

Trials, tribulations and hangovers

Hello, my name is Mal and I am an alcoholic. Or at least I was last night. It was the wife's birthday, so of course i had to go out with her. My plan was to have only a couple of beers and go home and to bed early since i had to work today at eight. That plan pretty much went out the window after my first shot. About eight shots and 5 beers later, I was pretty much gone. I stayed so late that Clint had to see if I was ready to go...that rarely happens. So, all in all i'd have to say it was good night. But then, the evil sun had to rise and i had to get out of bed to go to hell...otherwise known as work. i'm pretty sure I was still drunk as I was driving to pick up the princess this morning. Not to mention that I was late. Again. Man, I haven't done that in a while. So now I sit here wanting to go back to bed, craving something huge and greasy, completely bored. Eh, what can you do.
I called my mom this morning to see how she was doing...apparently they had to take my uncle to the emergency room last night and they're still there. I don't know the full details yet, but I hope he's allright. This is really hard on my mom. And my grandma, well, she's pretty confused on the whole situation. Her alzheimers seems to be getting worse. So when I say I have the memory of an 80 year old with alzheimer's, it pretty much puts a stamp on my trip to hell. I should stop saying that. heh. Highway to hell isn't the right song, but it's the first that comes to mind.

Horrorland Chaos

so a lot has been going on lately. some of it i've already talked about, some of it i haven't. i'm going to tell you a little bit about it...and if i'm being redundant and you've already heard this one, that's just too bad. first we'll start with the impending termination of my employment with catholic charities...now normally i wouldn't name my company on here for fear of termination...but i already quit, so what's the worst that could happen? anyway, i have exactly 32 business days left on the countdown. and i couldn't be more excited. i HATE this job like an anorexic hates food. though i get paid good, i'll be happy to finally leave here for good. and if anyone ever hears me say that i want to come back for ANY reason, smack me upside the head and tell me not to be retarded...unless of course they were offering to pay me $15 an hour...but that won't ever happen. i will have the month of july off from work...and i can not even wait. school starts on july 18 and that's rad...the only thing about that is the fact that part of my "uniform" is white bottoms...ya, uh, pffft, i don't wear white...i'm not one who likes to accentuate my huge ass by wearing white. skirts, pants, shorts...as if. and not to mention the white t-shirt...i don't like wearing t-shirts either. but that i can handle a whole lot more than white "bottoms". ick. i guess i'll live though...it is worth it to suffer in white for just under a year to get my career in gear...heh, that rhymed, i'm a poet and didn't even know it...ok, i'm done with my little brain detour.
next on my agenda...moving. yes, i've said, i don't know how many times, that i was NOT, no way in hell, moving again! so here i go...into a new house at the end of this month. the bitchin thing about the house though is that the kiddos will have their own rooms again. and my room? is ginormous. the house has an old vintage-y feel to it and i love it. but i don't like the whole moving thing. i'll have to start packing up my shit, and that sucks.
there's still the issue with my uncle...who is still sick and not getting better, but it seems, not getting worse. my rabbit died. yup, i had a rabbit named thumper and he died on friday...just call me mal the animal poison. speaking of which, my madre thought it good idea to get new dogs. so i have two cute little shitzu's at home now...go figure. one of which is totally in love with my weasel. and she gets jealous when he pays attention to me and not to her. it's endearing. and speaking of the weasel...he's pretty much amazing. i believe that is all i have to say for now. my mind has been in super over drive and i don't know which way to go...but i'm happy, so i guess that's all that matters. until next time my lovelies. stay horrorific.

I am Jack's rotting liver

so, my uncle has liver psorosis. oh, and let's not forget the pancreatic cancer. and basically, it's in the last stages so that means he's s.o.l. even if he did treatment. and he's actually my favorite uncle. well, what can you do...you're born, you live, you die. as trist would say, that's the cycle of life.

Out with the old, in with the new

Here I am on a blahg other than myspace. My sister should be proud. She's recently been seduced into the world of blahging and couldn't be happier. But she had to go and pull me out of my comfy little myspace world. I'm so easily persuaded to do things...oh, but not in a dirty way. Ok, this is a pretty crappy blahg for my first, but I have to pee pretty bad right about now, i have to finish my work because i get off in about a half hour and I'm too tired to think of anything clever to put in here. Maybe tomorrow afternoon when I'm all bright eyed and bushy tailed...yes, i said afternoon. I may be a lot of things, but morning person is NOT one of them. Stalk me and I just might say something interesting, funny, weird, snarky, sarcastic, interesting...oh, i already said that. or wrote. Whatever, I'm going to stop now before I lose the readers I don't even have yet.