Monday, July 26, 2010

Adventures in old lady land

I am currently of the belief that I am experiencing a mid-life crisis. I am, however, not in mid-life. How does that work? I'm not really sure, but what I am sure of is that I am getting restless. The problem is that I am nowhere near where I thought I'd be at the ripe ole age of 31. Published novel? Sure. Traveling the world? Normal. Has any of that happened? No. I am well aware of how many people my age and even older, are in the same predicament...however, I am only worried about myself for the moment.

While I hold a management title at my salon, I'm not very busy, as a stylist that is. While in the midst of the hellish summer months, most people flee the state for cooler pastures. Snow birds fly north for the summer while the ASU students find their ways back home with laundry baskets brimming and a break from the busy season of partying, otherwise known as education. Not to mention the shitty economy we are suffering, my income is less than a teenagers first job, Not fun. That stacked with my mounting stressors and a recently turned teenage boy and a 9 going on 30 year old girl, the chaos has brought me to my knees succumbing to what, in my mind, is a mid-life crisis.

And yes, I do understand that in order to go through a mid-life crisis, you have to be middle aged. I, however, have convinced myself that since I had the genius at the ripe, young age of 18, that pushes me up to middle age status. My tremendous amount of white hair should also be a factor. Ok, I exaggerate sometimes, doesn't mean I don't feel that I have way too much white hair for a 30 something, hot young mother.

This is exactly why I was of the "I don't wanna grow up" mantra growing up. I knew that getting older, while holding some likable benefits, really is a huge pain in the ass. I mean, besides the bills, raising kids and that whole being responsible thing, I don't see a whole lot to look forward to. At least until after my 60's since I'll have already gone through menopause and will be retired. Oh, and my kids will be grown, and hopefully, out of my house.

Ah, such is life. I think my biggest problem at the moment, besides rapidly growing older, is that I complain too much. Try as I might, I can not find the bright happy sunshine light at the end of the tunnel everyone around me is telling me to look for. Maybe a big decision I'm trying to make will help relieve my stress/bitchiness, at least a little.
Until then, yours truly, Malice in Horrorland